Hogg, Hoggletts and Styff

The main objective of a blog is to write, but today my eldest has done all the work for me. Anyways, I’m off to get myself a Better Face...

Is it just me or does anyone else get massive bogey anxiety as soon as they lay on a salon bed? In theory I’m going for a well deserved moment of well being, then BAM, bogey dread bangs in. I pull up a little ‘safe sniff’, delicately trying to dislodge my dreaded bundle of green joy, casually watching the beautician in hope she doesn’t let out a full on choking gag. Apparently this time I was OK, either that or she deserves recognition for her ability to remain completely beautiful in front of the gross girl laying In front of her. Paranoia aside, I LOVE my lashes! I hardly get time for make up most days so having a couple of weeks away from my usual bald eye bliss is exciting! I also got my top lip waxed, but that’s another story...

Seriously, when are they going to create over the shoulder nappies?!  We all know to expect poo to seep out of  the top of a nappy at some point, but nobody prepares us for how frequently it happens. Always at the most inconvenient time. Although I guess there’s never actually a great time to be beckoned forward to wipe away poo from the entire surface of a human back. I’ll give you an example. We’re heading out  to meet family, I would have had several ‘don’t be late’ warnings (Mum of two babies is ALWAYS late surely?!)  It goes like this, am proudly leaving the house composed, which is rare. Haven’t forgotten anything, achievement. We actually look smart, practically unheard of...then I sense it. It could be through either, smell, touch or sheer fear, but I know the unthinkable has happened...AGAIN!!  Utter chaos unfolds. My baby is screaming because he’s covered in poo. My toddler is throwing a massive tantrum because we were about to leave t...

This picture came up on my newsfeed today. For me, it’s writing, so I’ve decided to start a blog. As everyone will tell you (literally countless times) the ‘early’ days of our children goes waaaaaay too quickly. There’s no great ambition, although I’m hoping I might get some sympathy likes from friends and family members obligated to love me along the way. If I get a giggle, I’m happy. If I get shares, I’m winning. As hectic, chaotic and tantrum ridden as my days are, I am, without a shadow of a doubt, certain  that I’m making the memories of my life, so I’m recording the special moments (and the arsehole ones) to look back on when my babies turn into teenagers. (Even if I have to drunkenly reread the blogs)  Besides, when my days are up, these little buggers need to know they mean the absolute world to me!